back in black

Now, where was I? The fact is, I nodded off there for a short while, and only woke from off the loud sound of my own bones putrefying. That's normal - I have them replaced quite often these days, and I recommend it, it keeps you young. Just ask Keith Richards, his grandsons do it.

Opening my beady little eyes for the first time in some... goodness me... some months, I couldn't help noticing that while I was away standards had dropped considerably to the extent that they were now hiring out the Acropolis for weddings and Kim Kardashian (insert Kim Kardashian joke here - or is her name enough? I don't know who she is, or in fact, if she's a woman, or if her name is in fact spelt Kim Kar - ian). I knew I had to get down to the roneo machine and publish a new blog entry.

But can you imagine - goodness me and bless my clawhammer banjo - once I sat down in front of the typevision with all my irate thoughts correctly assembled... I realised I had no idea what my password was!

There's quite a tale in this one readers and of course it's a thrilling mystery too! Will Mrs Lax ever find her password? How will she delve into the dank corners of her own closed mind to find out what it might be? Should she have that stye seen to? There's a twist in this tale I don't mind telling you and there will also be handy tips for homemade wine! Stay on my wavelength!