Ask Grace Lax - Netiquette Advice

She is as old as the hills but twice as wise. She has many answers, many of them on-topic. Ask Grace Lax for advice ... and see where it gets you!

Dear Mrs Lax,

Isn't 'netiquette' hilarious?! Like, I don't wanna know what you did first thing in the morning or that you're hungover, right? So we were put in the same grade in primary school... So whattt? It's lame! I'm cutting back from nine hours a day online to seven.

Fay Spook, Faburnum

Dear Fay,

Yes - I, too, signed up for Facebook. You will find me there if you ever want to chat or if you would like me to help you find a home for a lonely calf. I am sure I have no idea what it all means, as I am just a nice old lady and I can't even send a fax to my toaster. I'm just there to cyberstalk my servants and keep in touch with my many fans.  But, mainly, the cyberstalking. 

Mrs Grace Lax, OBE

This blog is reproduced courtesy of The Big Issue.

Ask Grace Lax - relationship advice

Dear Mrs Lax,

I have been going out with the same boy for 17 years nows and every time I see him I am hoping he will pop the question. Instead, all he does is continually ask me, in his stupid man's voice, to marry him. How can I get him to pop it?

Tina Purvis, Mentone

Dear Tina,

If there is one thing I know, it's two things, which in turn know two things and so on, exponentially allowing me to know everything. I realise that doesn't answer your question, but I thought you should be told. Well. You want pops. Have you ever thought perhaps this young man was just not the popper partner for you? He does not seem to be acting poppily, and perhaps there's a reason he's not poperating to his full poptential. Personally, I'd cut my losses and marry him. After all, as far as God's concerned, if you mention yourself in the same sentence as someone else of the popposite sex, you are pretty much already married. That's why writing was invented. Not many people know that.

Mrs Grace Lax, OBE. 

This blog is reproduced courtesy of The Big Issue.